For Trish - who generously donated money to the Jixemitri Fundraiser for the victims of Hurricane Katrina. (100% of all monies raised by the Jixemitri fundraiser went to The Red Cross.)   Thank you! 

The Things We've Handed Down

There wasn’t anyone on earth who Trixie trusted more than Moms. So, why was she feeling so uneasy about leaving her daughter, Katy, with her for a few hours while she and Jim went out on a "date"?

It was just plain stupid; that’s what it was, Trixie thought to herself. Her husband had gone to a lot of trouble to set this evening up for the two of them—dinner at the Sleepyside Country Club—and Trixie didn’t want to ruin it.

It had been so long since they’d gone out for a romantic evening together. Ever since Katy was born, they’d been busier than Trixie would have ever dreamed possible, never imagining that such a small person could cause such a large impact on their lives. And even though Katy had only been with them for a few months, Trixie found it impossible to imagine their lives without her.

Katy was their very own angel sent just for them. Trixie knew most mothers were convinced that their child was special, but could there really be a more wonderful child somewhere in existence? Trixie couldn’t imagine such a thing.

And to think that she had the care of such a wonder!

Jim, of course, had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, while Trixie, dazed and stupid from sleep deprivation, often felt like she was teetering on the edge of a precipice: perfect motherhood on one, safe side, and the horror of unmet needs on the other.

Could she really leave Katy, even if it was only for a few hours, without falling off the edge?

Trixie wasn’t sure.

 

"I’m taking Mommy out on a date tonight, if that’s okay with you," Jim said to his three-month-old daughter. Katy was supposed to be settling down for her mid-afternoon nap, but, typically, she had other ideas and was currently charming her father by nestling on his chest, cooing and gurgling at him.

He felt a rush of love and the usual wonder that accompanied it.

Katje Helen Frayne. His daughter. Look what we did! He sometimes felt like shouting with joy.

Here was another human being that he and Trixie brought into this world.

Here, at last, was another Frayne.

What kind of person would she grow up to be? Would she be sweet and serious, like his mother, or fun-loving like his father? Would she possess Trixie’s insatiable curiosity and big heart?

Jim couldn’t wait to find out.

The awesome responsibility was not lost on him—he knew that he and Trixie had taken on the greatest responsibility of them all.

And tonight, he wanted to treat his wife to a few responsibility-free hours.

He didn’t mind admitting to himself that he was a little in awe of his wife, who was now, also, the mother of his child. She seemed to instinctively know their daughter’s needs in a way he’d never be able to.

"That’s her hungry cry," Trixie would say, and, sure enough, as soon as Katy realized she was being cradled in a position to nurse, her cries—sounds that filled Jim with a secret helplessness—would cease.

And, apparently, there was also an "I’m Wet" cry, a "Please hold me and walk around with me," cry, and an "I’m so tired, but if I go to sleep I’ll miss something" cry.

To Jim, all of Katy’s cries sounded the same. Unhappy.

Nobody deserved an evening out more than Trixie, who, up until a week ago, hadn’t slept more than three hours at a stretch since Katy had been born.

And there was no doubt that the two of them needed some time alone, just having fun.

The only trouble was, and it pained him greatly to admit it to himself, he honestly wasn’t sure if he was ready to leave their daughter with anyone other than Trixie, even somebody as completely trustworthy and experienced as his mother-in-law.

He knew he was being ridiculous.

It wasn’t that Jim didn’t know why he was over protective.

Of course he did.

Not only was it part of his genetic make-up—his father used to tease Jim’s mother by calling her "concerned Katy"—but also a product of painful circumstance.

With his father dead and gone when Jim had only been ten and his mother’s degenerative illness steadily growing worse, Jim had sometimes felt, in those dark days, as if hot bricks were pressing onto his chest. He had felt as if the very way he breathed had to be carefully monitored, or else the rest of his world would come crashing down.

His mother, always able to sense his moods, did whatever she could to alleviate his anxiety, but her growing weakness forced her to depend more and more on him. Jim knew her worry for him indirectly led to her remarrying—a sore realization Jim stored away deep in his psyche.

Jim carefully rose so as not to awaken the finally-sleeping Katy. He crept upstairs with her to the nursery and gently lowered her into the crib he’d made himself, covering her small form with a soft, pink blanket.

He stood over the crib a moment, gazing down at her, and took a deep breath. Katy would be fine with her grandmother. She would be just fine.

He wasn’t about to let his irrational fears ruin his and Trixie’s evening.

***

Jim and Trixie were silent as they drove along Glen Road towards the village of Sleepyside-on-the-Hudson. A very light snow fell, dusting the trees with white.

"Pretty," Trixie commented, breaking the silence. She forcibly put Katy out of her mind. Katy was being fussed over by her doting grandmother and was just fine.

"Yes, you are," Jim responded, laying a hand on Trixie’s knee.

Despite her secret worry, Trixie felt a pleasant flare of happiness in her belly at Jim’s words and was glad she’d taken unusual care with her make-up and dress. Since Katy’s birth, she’d pretty much lived in fleece.

"You look very nice yourself," she said, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

It wasn’t long before they reached the Sleepyside Country Club. Jim pulled in front of its elegant restaurant, the attentive valet relieving him of his keys as soon as Jim exited the vehicle.

As the valet scurried around and opened Trixie’s door, she automatically reached to open the back door before she remembered there was no need. The car seat was empty.

"Is something wrong?" Jim asked her.

Trixie forced a smile and dropped her hand. "Not a thing," she replied.

The Maître d’ greeted them by name and showed them to a table romantically tucked in an alcove. He pulled out Trixie’s chair and seated her, giving a little bow as he lay down two heavy menus with the country club’s crest on the front before leaving them alone.

"Hungry?" Jim asked.

"Mmm," Trixie replied as she flipped open her menu and stared, unseeing, at the appetizer page. What if Katy woke up sooner than expected and was hungry again? What if she wouldn’t take the bottle of breast milk?

She’d already posed that question to her mother who had calmly replied that she’d never met a baby yet that willingly let itself starve, nor expired from a little fretting.

"I think I know a little about babies," her mother had finished, giving Trixie an indulgent smile and a gentle shove.

Jim watched as Trixie studied her menu, her expression intent. It was strange—only three months had gone by since the birth of their daughter, and, yet, it seemed wrong, somehow, to see Trixie without her.

Could Katy know they’d only be gone for a few hours, or would she cry until they returned? Jim tried to read his menu, but couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

"I wonder how Katy’s doing?" Trixie blurted, breaking her vow not to bring up the subject.

Jim jerked guiltily—was Trixie reading his mind? It often seemed like she could.

He and Trixie looked at each other for a moment, worry and misery equally reflected in their eyes, and then suddenly laughed in relieved recognition.

"I love you so much for planning this, but can we go get Katy and just go home?" Trixie asked.

"Absolutely," Jim replied, breaking out in a huge grin.

Although they hadn’t ordered anything, Jim left a bill on the table for their poor waiter before they fled.

They managed to avoid the Maître d’ and soon found themselves driving back down Glen Road. The sky had cleared in the short time they had been in the restaurant, and the twinkling stars seemed to smile at them, the moonlight glinting softly on the freshly fallen snow.

"I really did want you to have a nice evening out," Jim said, sparing Trixie a quick glance as he drove.

Trixie nodded. "I know, baby. We’ll try this again in a few weeks, okay?"

"Sure. Whatever you want. It’s only fair."

Trixie was puzzled. "Fair?"

Jim changed lanes to avoid a patch of ice. "You’re just so good at the whole thing."

"What whole thing?"

Jim slowed as they approached the long drive that led to Trixie’s childhood home. "You know…being a parent," he said as he turned into the drive. "You take care of everything so well."

"Not everything. You’ve changed your share of diapers, among other things," Trixie reminded him.

"Yeah, but that’s not what I meant. You just…you know what Katy needs; you take care of her."

Trixie let out a laugh. "And you don’t? Do you honestly think I could do this without you?"

"Sure." Jim stopped at the head of the drive and pulled the emergency brake.

"That’s just crazy!" Trixie exclaimed. "I get so scared sometimes that I’ll miss something or make a mistake! And it helps so much knowing that you’re here, and that you love her, and that you’d never let anything happen to our little girl."

Jim laughed. Reaching over and squeezing her hand he said, "But that’s exactly how I feel about you! I don’t even know how to tell you how it makes me feel, knowing that Katy has a mom like you to count on."

Trixie felt her eyes fill with happy tears. "She’s lucky to have a daddy like you, too. But I think we’re the luckiest ones." She lay her head down on Jim’s shoulder and let out a happy sigh.

"Look," Jim whispered. He pointed towards the large family room window that faced the road.

Trixie lifted her head and smiled. Framed in the window was her mother holding Katy in her arms. From the look of it, Moms was singing as she gently swung a smiling Katy side-to-side.

Jim put an arm around Trixie as they watched the lovely scene that seemed to exist only for them.

"This is turning out to be the best date we’ve ever had," Trixie said.

Jim pulled her closer. "Wanna make out?" he grinned.

Trixie couldn’t help it—she giggled. "I think that’s the best idea you’ve had all day!"

Jim lowered his mouth to hers in a heated kiss, and Trixie reflected yet again that there really wasn’t anything that Jim couldn’t do and do well.

The End

Note: Trixie Belden® is a registered trademark of Random House Books. These pages are not affiliated with Random House Books in any way. These pages are not for profit.   All stories copyright © Mary, 2007 - 2012. All rights reserved.