This story takes place 3 months before Come in from the Cold. The title comes from a poem by Peter McWilliams. Thank you, Kyrie, for editing this for me. And thank you to everyone who has asked me when they can expect the next story. I can't even begin to tell you what it means to me!
I dedicate the ending of this chapter to the new Queen of Cliffhangers, Carol! *bag*
The Secret Spaces of the Gods
Chapter One
Trixie
woke with a start in a pitch black room and for one awful moment still felt like
she was falling. She couldn’t remember what she’d been dreaming about, but
whatever it was, it was bad. Bad in the way that makes your entire body jerk. So
bad that your body simply won’t understand that it was just a dream.
Trixie
took deep healing breaths for a moment, telling herself that it was just a
dream, just a dream. But the hint of terrible, dark, faceless visions still
danced behind her eyelids, images filled with loss, despair and a nameless,
haunting fear. Trixie shivered. She did remember that there had been an awful,
jagged, crying sound. And then an emptiness so complete that even the ground
below her had vanished, leaving Trixie in a hideous free-fall through time and
space.
It
was no use—her body wouldn’t listen to her. She began the laborious process
of turning onto her side, the advanced state of her pregnancy making even this
simple movement difficult. And, as it turned out, all for nothing. Instead of
encountering Jim’s comforting presence, there was only empty space. She felt
ridiculous when she remembered that she wasn’t at home.
Trixie
was in a hotel room in Washington, D.C., where she had testified in an FBI
matter just that day. Trixie had known she couldn’t survive the 5-hour car
ride with the current state of her bladder and had opted to take Amtrak and
spend the night. Plus, it gave her an opportunity to have dinner with her friend
Dana whom she had met online through her Lucy Radcliffe message board since she
wasn’t returning to Sleepyside until the next morning.
I
should have listened to her and not ordered that cheese steak with jalapeño
peppers,
she thought ruefully. She rolled onto her back and stared into space, brushing
impatiently at her eyes when she felt moisture begin to pool in them. “It was
just a dream, dummy,” she muttered out loud. She began her old trick of
tensing and relaxing her muscles, but sleep continued to elude her. She just
couldn’t stop re-living a dream that she couldn’t even really remember. Who
was it making that awful crying sound? Was it Katy?
Trixie
glanced at the clock. She shouldn’t—she really shouldn’t. It
was so late.
She
tried counting sheep. She tried listing all the Lucy Radcliffe titles in order.
She tried reciting all the Beatles songs she could think of in alphabetical
order, but her heart continued to thump miserably in her chest. To add to the
fun, the baby awoke and began merrily kicking her in the ribs.
Trixie
sighed, gave up, and got out of bed. She found her briefcase and snapped it
open, extracting her cell phone. She was surprised when Jim answered on the
first ring and didn’t even sound sleepy.
“Hi,”
she said softly.
“Trix!
What’s wrong?”
Trixie
sighed, but what else could he think at one o’clock in the morning? “Um,
nothing really. It’s silly. I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No,
I was up anyway. Think I’m getting the flu or something.”
Jim
was never sick. “Really? Oh no!” She was relieved when he laughed a
little.
“Don’t
worry about it. I’ll just take a few aspirin, and I’m sure I’ll feel
better tomorrow.”
Trixie
was feeling a bit better and was about to tell him to go to sleep when he
pounced. “And enough about me anyway. What cooks? You don’t generally call
this late for nothing.” When she didn’t answer, he added, “What is it,
love?”
Trixie
never could resist it when Jim’s voice got that tender note. “I just had the
worst dream, and I can’t get back to sleep. And your child is kicking
me!” she finished, a bit dramatically. Jim asked her what the dream was about,
and she had to admit that she couldn’t remember it.
“How
can you be scared of something you can’t even remember?” Jim reasonably
wanted to know, but Trixie had no answer for this.
“I
know. It’s stupid.” She paused, but her voice wavered a little anyway. “I
wish I was there with you,” she admitted.
“I
wish you were too. I can’t sleep unless I rub your back until my hands go
numb,” Jim teased.
Trixie
smiled and felt some of the dream finally fade. “And it’s really killing me,
too,” she admitted. Although she’d had a few twinges during her pregnancy
with Katy it was nothing like the ache that she was experiencing with this one.
She
heard Jim sigh. “That does it. You aren’t testifying in any more FBI cases.
I don’t feel good, and you’re clearly falling apart without me!”
They
laughed softly together, and Trixie yawned. “Baby, I think I’m finally ready
for sleep. But I need you to do something and it’s going to sound a little
crazy…” She spoke for a moment.
She
waited, and then she heard it, reassuringly gentle sounds that let her know that
Jim had fulfilled her request and was now holding the cordless phone over Katy
while she slept.
“Feel
better, Shamus?” Jim whispered.
“Mmm
hmm, “ Trixie murmured. “I miss you both like crazy.
“We
miss you too. I offered to sing Katy her lullaby earlier, but she told me in
this very serious voice that I read the story and you sing. That
was the rule.” He affected the bossy little tone their daughter
sometimes got in her voice.
Trixie
laughed, her nightmare fading away entirely. “Sounds like Miss Katy.” She
couldn’t hold back her yawn. “I think I can sleep now. Go take your aspirin
and get some rest. And hey—the school won’t collapse if you decide to take
tomorrow off. Mart and Regan can handle things.” Since it was still summer,
there weren’t nearly as many academic classes anyway. Summer at Ten Acres
Academy focused almost entirely on all the outdoor events the school had to
offer, like hunting, camping, fishing, hiking and horseback riding.
Jim
couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken an unexpected day off. “I’ll
think about it. Sweet dreams this time. I’ll see you tomorrow night. Love
you.”
“Love
you too. Night.” Trixie shut her phone and set it on the nightstand, yawning
broadly. She was willing to bet he went in anyway. She tried to picture her
active husband taking it easy and couldn’t quite manage it.
She settled into the only position she could sleep in these days, annoyingly flat on her back, and felt herself drift pleasantly away. “Silly dream,” she mumbled before her eyes closed.
***
Jim cut the connection and stood gazing down at his daughter for a moment. He understood what it felt like to have bad dreams. The worst dreams of them all were the ones involving his little girl. Luckily, he rarely had them. He hoped Trixie would be able to get back to sleep.
He
straightened the covers over Katy and softly kissed her forehead before
returning to his own room, moving slowly. He was so damn fatigued, and every
step he took made his bones feel as if they were made of glass. He went into the
bathroom and stood before the medicine cabinet, blearily looking at his flushed
face. He was dripping with sweat, and his eyes felt like they were cooking in
his head. He gripped the edges of the sink as a sudden wave of dizziness hit
him.
Whoa,
he thought, taking deep breaths until his equilibrium returned. Damn it, he
really was sick. He hoped Katy didn’t catch it, whatever it was. He opened the
cabinet and shook three aspirins into his palm, taking them with a glass of
water. The cool water felt good going down. He returned to bed and wearily slid
under the covers. He couldn’t remember a time when he felt worse. He’d have
to call his mother-in-law tomorrow and have her pick up Katy. And he needed to
call Mart and Regan as well.
Jim’s
head began to throb at the thought of everything that needed to be done. He
found himself wishing he’d taken his brother-in-law Mart’s advice the other
day. Mart had noticed the fatigue that Jim thought he’d successfully hidden
and had told him he should take a few days off. That he’d been working too
hard. Trixie had broached the very same subject herself before she left for D.C.
so Jim had inwardly chuckled at the way the “almost twins” seemed to always
be on the same wavelength. It was scary how much alike they were sometimes.
And
he’d reacted the same way to both of them, telling them that he was just fine
and he didn’t need a day off. He figured it was just the humidity, nothing
more.
Jim
finally dropped into a deadening sleep, wondering why he had to get sick when
his life was so busy.
***
It
was morning and Katy Frayne was hungry. She went downstairs so her father could
fix her something to eat and was surprised to find the kitchen empty. She stood
there for a moment in her bright red nightgown, shoving the curls that always
got into her eyes out of the way before returning upstairs.
She
went into her parents’ room and started to giggle at the sight of her father,
fast asleep. This could be fun! She ran and jumped on him.
“It’s
time to get up!” she sang, bouncing on his stomach. Daddy was obviously
pretending to be asleep. Katy grinned. She loved to play games and especially
with Daddy. She began to laugh and bounce harder, chanting, “Get up, get up,
get up!” But he just lay there, which confused the little girl. Why wasn’t
he playing? Why didn’t he swoop her into his arms and blow a raspberry on her
tummy like he always did?
“Daaaaddy!”
she protested, sliding off of him and curling into his side. She laid her head
on his chest and frowned. She was suddenly scared and didn’t know why.
“Daddy?”
she ventured, pushing herself onto her knees so she could gaze down onto him.
Daddy
sounded funny, and he didn’t look too good. After a minute, Katy started to
cry and shake him. She didn’t want to play anymore. She wanted her daddy to
kiss her and tell her everything was just fine. Then they could go downstairs
and make cinnamon toast.
“Wake
up! Please wake up!” she sobbed. She suddenly knew they weren’t playing a
game, that this was even more terrible than the time she thought a monster was
hiding in her closet. On that occasion Daddy had shone a flashlight in the
closet and had shown her that there wasn’t anything but clothes in there. That
there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. He had stroked her hair and had told
her that all the monsters in the world knew that he and Mommy lived here. That
they wouldn’t dare come into her room because they would kill them all. That
she would always be safe.
***
Trixie
sighed and settled into her seat as the train pulled out of Union Station. As it
turned out, she had slept fitfully after she had gotten off the phone with Jim,
unable to completely shake the feeling that something was wrong. She’d be glad
to get home and sleep in her own bed. Even if it is flat on my back! she
thought ruefully.
The
baby was due in about 3 weeks. And even though she wouldn’t be getting a whole
lot of sleep for awhile, at least what little she did would be in her preferred
sleeping position—partially on her left side and on her stomach, with her
right arm draped over Jim’s chest.
“Are
you all right?” a voice asked.
Trixie
opened her eyes and smiled at the gray haired woman sitting across from her,
assuring her that she was fine.
“I
don’t mean to be rude, but you look a little pale and tired. Would you like an
orange juice? I have an extra one,” the woman said, rummaging in the little
cooler by her side.
Trixie
gratefully accepted, and the two women began to chat, the older woman telling
her about the three children she’d had and what her pregnancies were like.
Trixie was used to this by now—there was something about the sight of a
pregnant woman that made other women feel they had to share their child birthing
stories. Trixie didn’t really mind unless the stories got graphic. And at
least this woman wasn’t rubbing her belly. Trixie couldn’t believe how
people would just walk up to her and touch her stomach. She didn’t mind when
her family and friends did it, but these were complete strangers!
Her
cell phone began to ring, and she flashed the other woman an apologetic smile as
she rummaged through her briefcase and retrieved her phone. She recognized her
own number on the screen and smiled.
“Hey
Jim,” she murmured. “Feeling better?” She heard crying and unconsciously
stiffened as an unwanted memory from her dream the night before suffused her.
“Katy, is that you, angel? What’s wrong—where’s Daddy?” she said,
trying to keep the urgency out of her voice. They had taught Katy how to use the
speed dial on the family phone, but had also warned her that the telephone was
not a toy. Katy knew that she wasn’t allowed to use the phone without
permission, so Trixie didn’t know what to think. “What’s wrong,
sweetie?”
“I’m
scared, Mommy. Please come home!”
Trixie
gasped. “What’s happening?” she cried. The woman across from her looked at
her with concern filling her kindly face.
Trixie barely noticed. She unknowingly dropped the orange juice onto the floor, the bottle slipping from her nerveless fingers as Katy’s answer made all the blood run out of her face.
“Daddy
won’t get up!”
Note: Trixie Belden® is a registered trademark of Random House Books. These pages are not affiliated with Random House Books in any way. These pages are not for profit. All stories copyright © Mary, 2007 - 2012. All rights reserved.